Dressage is Such a Slog

Does anyone else feel that way? I mean, I love dressage. It fits my type A personality really well, but I lived on my stupid circle for 3 weeks straight (I believe it's actually called, "a stupid fucking circle." Just doing endless transitions. Shaking him off the bit. Feeling like a failure. Keep going anyway. Being type A is probably WHY I can keep going.

I haven’t written anything lately because honestly, there’s nothing to write about. I ordered Penn’s new double, but I’m having some sizing issues so it’s not ready to be blog fodder yet. Other than that, I haven’t been doing anything with him except schooling him and putting hours in the saddle working on our homework from the lessons in my last post.

Maybe there's some self carriage out there?

I’ve been diligently working on Penn’s self-carriage. Walk/trot/walk/trot etc until the end of time. I’m sure we spend a lot of time walking… but it’s so damn hard! I am also applying more leg than I ever have before. Makes sense, I need to generate the energy for him to convert into shoulder lift. When he doesn’t listen to one leg, I keep digging in with it (or pony club kick it), and put a seatbone into it until he decides he’d rather leg yield away from it. But it never, ever goes away until he responds.

I remember to apply my leg first. Double what I think I actually need. I vibrate my hands. I make sure he stays on the bit. I vibrate my hands some more. I check him for self-carriage by giving a hand away, then giving the other away. I check for the topline of his neck to be blown up like a balloon. I check that my shoulders are up and back and I’m sitting on my tailbone.

Earning my bronze medal. Because at some point in my past, I didn't feel incompetent.

On the bit. Hold yourself. On the bit. Hold yourself. Repeat for eternity.

I am battling his ever shifting balance. Leg on. Put him back on the bit. Leg on, sit on my tailbone, and vibrate the hands because he fell on his shoulder and plowed down. Put him back on the bit.

The right lead canter broke almost immediately upon our return home from lessons. Like, it was completely gone. It was alarming, but the ability to trot to the right without flailing nonsense also disappeared at the same time, sooooo… tracking right was just screwed?

I’d ask for the right lead and for him to sit and carry himself. He’d take two or three strides and then do an awkward trot skip change to the left lead. Back to walk, ask again. I eventually got fed up with that nonsense and double leg pony club kicked him forward on the right lead. You can’t trot and change if you’re hand galloping! That seemed to help a lot- it made my leg a bit more meaningful.

This was super fun. Why can't working on self carriage be this fun?

It is such a SLOG. It isn’t fun for either of us. I feel like I’m going to the gym every day and lifting the same 10 pound weight for a half hour. No switching it up, just keep lifting it while waiting for it to get easier.

On the bright side, before I started all of this, I was panicking because I couldn’t do the 10m half circle to 10m half circle in 2-2 and 3-3 without him falling on his face or bulging or running off (or some combination of those). I have slowly started adding that back, and he’s much much better about it and has stopped flailing through it.

As much as I say this was a slog to get through, about 2 weeks into it, things starting looking up and we had more good in our rides than bad. By the end of week 3 (when it was time to go back for another round of lessons), I was actually happy and was having good rides that lasted about 20-25 minutes. Penn was rising to the occasion and trying so very hard. He's not always right or perfect, but he's giving 150% in every ride in the canter. I can feel the trot is going in the right direction to actually allow a good medium trot to develop.

Maybe we'll get a few more of these tri-color ribbons this year?
We did OK at second and third last year without much self carriage.
Managed to get a champion at each level at some point at recognized shows we went to!

In our last ride before lessons he was holding himself so well in the canter that I started mixing changes back in. The final set of changes I did went like this: tracking right on the circle, canter on the left lead. Flying change to the right lead (which he landed in a balanced canter!). Finish the circle, then go across the K-B diagonal and ask for the right to left change. Get that balanced and be straight on the next long wall, then for shits and giggles ask for the left to right change (which would change to the counter canter). He gave the 3rd change! He lasted a few strides before ending up in a heap when we hit the corner on his weaker lead in counter canter. But he got all the pats and love and we quit for the night. He tried so hard, gave zero sass, and had boring changes!

Next up, more lessons! Because that has become a goal, get down to visit GP Trainer more. I need more help these days since we're in new territory!

1/28/2018 - Adult Camp Lesson 2

My lesson Sunday morning was with LH, and she also focused on keeping the quality of the canter and frustrating Penn while he builds the strength to keep his hind end under him instead of trying to splat in the counter canter.

While we warmed up, she stressed he needs to be straight: If he’s not straight he gets flingy (as noted in yesterday's cavaletti lesson). He needs to be super straight on the outside aids.

She also stressed the quality of the canter: If you’re asking for collected canter, right on. Make sure you can still drive forward. Keep the jump in the canter no matter what. Lots of inside leg to outside rein.

Look! The sit! Too bad it wasn't quite what I asked for and he ended up stuck.

She also said now is not the time to be subtle with my canter cues- once he’s confirmed I can be subtle. I need to make sure my seat and leg are very, very clear. 

She also said to stop asking for backwards when he wants to stop, but he can send himself backwards. Tap him forward. Don’t ask for rein back or anything that resembles backwards for a while (not that I was planning on that, haha).

So stuck in the canter. Must spin in. Must back up.

Basically, we’re picking apart the changes and making them better and he thinks that’s horrible. As we got rolling into the real meat of the lesson, I tried to bring him along to the changes the way GP Trainer and I did, half pass to the change. The half pass was ok (haunches leading, a new problem for us), but I lost the jump and he hopped instead of changing.

I got the canter back, and LH recommended not doing any movements, just canter on the 20m circle, and over x, change to counter canter on the adjacent 20m circle. So that's what we focused on the rest of our lesson!

Find the counter canter, and spend the first circle just keeping counter canter. Next, flop around a little bit, but keep the counter canter. Slowly start changing the bend, working on left bend in the right canter, all while keeping the counter canter.

He got all flustered when I started changing the bend and trotted, but LH praised me for keeping a very cool head when he started his halt/rein back nonsense and simply going back to it. We did some more counter canter as I tried to change the bend and he broke to trot, then tried to quit, to which LH said, “Horses are great, horses are great, dressage is fun, dressage is fun!” Just keep going!

She said that he’s not wrong in breaking, being uncomfortable and knowing something is going to happen. The counter canter on the circle is about him letting me in and me being able to adjust the canter or flop around as desired without him changing. Eventually, when I can counter canter and move around and adjust the stride and bend, and I finally do ask him to change, he’s going to leap at the chance to do it because it’ll be a relief and easier than anything else we have been doing. And it will be beautiful and lovely.

But look at this very smart walk- counter canter transition!

We took a break, then got our wires crossed about which direction to go next- LH wanted the left lead, but I heard right lead, which made sense to me since the right lead is weaker, and he did this lovely agreeable CC circle:

We went the other way, and had to work through his halt/rein back shenanigans, and got the left lead rolling. She had me keep the regular counter canter for a circle, then start bending him right. He wanted to lay on me and lean, and I had to fluff him up off the rein. She got after me to keep the jump coming, and to open my inside rein to say, “hey, over here” and he had to maintain the CC. His stride got a bit open, and when I went to collect it, he quit.

We got the counter canter back, and she reminded me to keep his poll up. “Don’t even ask for a change until he can counter canter with his poll up, in the opposite bend, with his hind legs under his body. When he can do all this and not give you the middle finger, and not stop and back up, then you can ask for the change."

In his last CC on the left lead, she had me really change his bend and sit down, and he just got stuck but never quit trying.

She encouraged me to keep going through this struggle, because he will be so much better on the other side.

I found this lesson to be super helpful, and I actually have a single half hour clip from this lesson, so here you go. Bad blogger with a too long video I know, but I've cued it up to the right lead canter work.

Link to YouTube

I videoed J's lesson for her, and we got everything packed up to go home. It was a great weekend of learning!

Penn staring longingly out his window. He and B didn't really want to go home.

Penn and B with matching sped-heads in the trailer cams.
Penn is usually mean in the trailer, but he and B seemed to be genuine friends!

The sunset was SO PRETTY. (don't worry, J took this pic, not me!)

Of course it was dark (but not too late!) by the time we got back to the barn, and we hadn't had anything go majorly wrong... so I fulfilled that by almost jack knifing my trailer. I had to aim it around a truck to get it back to its spot, and I misjudged everything and got my truck stuck in the mud while wedged between the trailer and a fence. *facepalm* Why didn't I turn on 4wd? The truck can't turn as tightly... and the fence was already a problem. So I had to unhook right there and move the trailer another day when the ground was frozen again. Sigh. At least I didn't actually jack knife it!

So close to disaster.

I found this weekend so worthwhile, cavaletti work and more homework to make the changes better. I also really liked getting 4.5 lessons (we'll call the cavaletti a .5, lol) in January. I've already noticed a big difference, so I'm trying to work out if I can financially do this camp again in February. We will see!

1/27/2018 - Adult Camp Lesson 1

One of the barn ladies (we'll call her J) approached me a few months ago and asked if I wanted to go to the Adult Camp that GP Trainer's two assistant trainers were holding on 1/27-28/2018. I looked it over- $150 for: a private half hour lesson Saturday morning, lunch & lecture, a half hour group cavaletti lesson or private lunge lesson Saturday afternoon, overnight stabling, breakfast on Sunday, and a half hour private lesson Sunday. I thought it was pretty good value, especially since I'd have someone to haul down with and split some of the costs of gas and hotel.

I knew we'd have to leave super early Saturday morning since the first lessons of the weekend were in the morning (our lessons were at 11:00 and 11:30), and it's a 5 hour minimum drive down (it has taken me as long as 7 hours to make the drive home). What I didn't bank on was having to be awake by 2am, leaving my house by 2:45am to pump gas and get breakfast and be at the barn by 3:45am, to leave for VA by 4:30am. Umm.

I did make the good decision of taking a half vacation day to go to the barn Friday and clean tack, pack, and make sure Penn was bathed and spotless. I was home by 7 and in bed trying to sleep by 9! I was proud of myself.

My truck's radio. I was running 15 min late, this pic was supposed to happen at 2:45am!

We were on the road at 5 instead of 4:30 due to a grooming mishap... I tried to do a quick mane shortening with a bot fly egg removal knife so J's horse wouldn't have a hobo mane (it was too wet from his bath to do the day before). I may have sliced my pointer finger open enough to drip blood all over the barn on my way to the bathroom. That really slowed me down in getting Penn ready (you try wrapping legs without using your pointer finger while trying not to get blood all over everything).

Did you know that when you wake up at 2:15am in the dark and get your day rolling, that at about 7am, you start to wonder why the hell it is still dark and it suddenly feels like 10pm? Yea. J and I both had the same feeling around the same time, "For the love of all, WHEN IS THE SUN GOING TO RISE?!"

We got to GP Trainer's barn at 10:15am, making really good time even though we had to drive the slow windy roads in the dark. We got Penn and B off the trailer and in their stalls, then the tack room emptied in record time. We had to hurry and slap some tack on Penn, but then I was ready to ride!

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Let me give some background on GP Trainer's two assistant trainers: LH is a silver medalist and Traditional B Pony Club graduate who worked for the the Hanoverian Verband in Germany, and LF is a bronze medalist who has been with GP Trainer for almost 3 years now.

I really wanted both of my lessons to be with LH because she's much further up the dressage ladder than me. I didn't get my wish, they had so many riders sign up that they both taught at the same time Saturday morning, splitting the huge indoor in half (which still left two huge squares to work in). That worked out though, I got to know LF better and she has a depth of understanding I did not expect from someone who only showed 3rd in 2017. I mean, that's a perk of being at GP Trainer's barn 24/7! She definitely gets an A+ and I'd recommend her to anyone.

I briefly went over what GP Trainer and I worked on the previous weekend (canter half pass and flying changes, then general obedience), I did a quick warm up, and we went straight to work on the canter and flying changes.

The first thing LF had me do was push the canter forward and back, being able to collect it with just my seat and have Penn go forward again immediately when I asked. Unfortunately, I don't have her commentary because she was using a headset from the other side of the ring, so here are some clips of us doing stuff to work on sit and go and sit:

10m circle on a 20m circle exercise, ending in a canter/walk.

It felt like he was sitting so much more than he actually was... why is that always the case?!

We didn't touch the easy change (left to right), but instead worked on ways to make the right to left better. I was able to get it from counter canter into the corner, but Penn would always be late behind.

I mean, at least it was pretty? Stay in rhythm, he didn't buck, he didn't drop much, why does it need to be clean too?

Then Penn just stopped picking up the counter canter altogether. We switched to tracking right and he kept picking up the left lead. *facepalm* We eventually got the right lead while tracking left, and LF had me maintain the counter canter, then put Penn in renvers while counter cantering. (unfortunately this is when my randomly selected fellow adult camper left the ring and stopped videoing)

Me: Walk on, then counter canter.
Penn: I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request.

Ohhh Penn did not like that one bit, he got hoppy and jumpy and oh so frustrated. Why wouldn't I just ask him to change already?! The goal of the exercise being: keep him up and hoppy while keeping him collected, and most importantly frustrated that he has to do all this hard work so that when I finally do ask for a change, he goes, "OH THANK GOODNESS, YES I'LL CHANGE!"

We never got back to trying a change, but more importantly we worked on keeping the quality of the canter.

LF got to see his naughty behavior too, "No, [Penn stomps horsey foot] I will not keep going!" She said something along the lines of, "He's so sweet and cute, and GP Trainer always says what a delightful horse he is when we discuss lessons, and she didn't say anything about him this last time. I did not expect this from him!" I joked that he showed her his naughty side last week, so he didn't earn his delightful horse comments!

We wrapped up, and J came in with her horse, B. J was a bit nervous, she's only had B for 6 months, 3 of those were at our barn where she realized how inadequate her "instructor" was at teaching and preparing someone for horse ownership (I've found her last "instructor" likes to keep her clients in the dark about horse ownership options). B was sold to J out of the lesson program, and he was supposedly a good traveler (turns out he's a wonderful traveler, as advertised), but J hasn't taken him anywhere. I ended up hanging out for a bit in the middle of our square as moral support, which was cool. LF got her moving and working again, and eventually we were able to wander back to the barn. J had a good confidence building lesson and was much more comfortable by the end!

Next time, PEMF treatment and a cavaletti lesson!

Since Champs

Ok, so what have we been up to since Championships?

More on this below!

I spent the first two weeks after championships trying to resolve all the bad feelings I've had about being able to school myself, while also feeling very lost without a short term goal. I still haven't totally resolved those bad feelings, but I suspect they'll come and go in the next few months. Since we didn't make it to Finals, show season was a wrap, which left me a bit directionless. Though, I think everyone wanted/needed a break.

I decided to take some regularly scheduled lessons with Dressage Trainer while I'm in trailering limbo (can't go see GP Trainer without a functional truck!). Of course this hasn't panned out yet- she's out every other Saturday, but I missed the first Saturday because I was doing a road rally with Husband, and then the next time had to be changed from Saturday to Wednesday, but I had other plans that day too. I need some structure in my riding again, and I miss having lessons every other week like I was used to with Event Trainer. I did get some really great lessons though, from an unexpected source! More on that in the next post. ;)

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A week after its hauling disaster, the truck was given a non-diagnosis from the dealership we had it towed to (PISSED). They basically said they could not reproduce the problem and offered us an engine rebuild for $3700, plus the cost of whatever parts they find out are bad. Uh, no. We paid the $122 for their "check" and attempted to drive the handful of miles home. We had to stop halfway through the 10 min drive home because the truck'as oil pressure had dropped to zero. We waited about 20 min, and then drove the rest of the way home (it was back to zero by the time I backed it into it's space). Husband left the dealership a bad review, and they ended up refunding us the entire $122, which is nice since we weren't any further ahead.

Husband did some research, but couldn't fix the problem with what he has available to him at our home garage. He thinks it is a bad oil pump, but we either have to take the engine out (uhh he doesn't have a lift big enough), or he has to drop the suspension and axle to get to the underside (uhh he doesn't have those capabilities at home), so off to a shop it goes. Not back to the one that handled its original "diagnosis." It's going to another shop that told us flat out that they don't repair engines, only replace them. Husband said we didn't want a replacement yet, so they offered to diagnosis for $60. We'll see what they say, but they seem more willing to talk possibilities than the original dealership.

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Anyway, on 9/24, I got my mom to come out and video one of my early morning rides because I have had zero feedback for what I'm feeling (no mirrors, eyes, or video). I ran Penn through a bunch of transitions between walk and trot and trot and canter, with the goal of him being lighter in the bridle each time. I lost some of the connection since he's so used to a heavier contact (so he didn't have true connection before). He seemed to remember being lighter from our last ride where I did that (yay!), and then I moved on to the fun stuff:

Trying to teach Penn to piaffe!

It's very much the blind leading the blind. All I have to go on is GP Trainer saying she teaches it by frustrating them in the walk until they offer piaffe as an answer. I tried to find the rhythm of the walk with my legs, lighten my seat, and tickle his haunches with the whip. I never get more than a good step or two, and nothing so far has been as good as what he offered in the above gif (which is obviously still a baby horse response and it needs more sit in the good steps and less muddled steps). I'm still happy even though he spends a good amount of time taking muddled steps- they're at least in diagonal pairs! He's getting it though. This was my third ride working on it, with basically no feedback whether he was right or not. I need some instruction before I do something wrong though. He started giving me some real sit with attempts to leap into canter towards the end of the practice, and I wasn't quite sure what to make of that, so I stopped there and haven't really revisited it since.

The next thing I worked was his counter canter. I want to do more of it since he's fairly confirmed in his changes (even if they're not always clean), since it'll make his canter better. I want to start making the turns in CC smaller too, so I mirrored the 4-3 pattern a little (10m half circle to 10m cc half circle, down the next wall, flying change halfway, repeat 10m half circle, 10m cc half circle, flying change, corner). I skipped the flying change parts in this ride (I did the middle one the other day), so that I could loop 10m half circles on the same lead, only they aren't 10m, they're more like 15m.

I ended up turning these half circles into a counter canter figure 8. Or rather, I tried to; Penn kept breaking on the left lead cc. I did manage to finish the ride with a figure 8 with straight diagonals, with cc on the round edges and flying changes near X. Super super happy with the work. His canter got much better, and his changes quieted immediately- no hopping. He did one clean one and a bunch of late behind, but it doesn't bother me. He's been clean or late up front in normal changes, so I think it's a footwork/strength problem.

I knew he had talked me into not sitting as much as GP Trainer wants, but I didn't realize how much!! I need to practice cc without perching!

Link to YouTube

If you're interested, the full 25 min of work is here. The first bit is warm up (walking, transitions), then messing with piaffe, then around the 20min mark we start the canter.

Link to YouTube

I'm looking forward to more lessons this fall!