Liam's Final Chapter

Today, I had my sweet, bright, alert and enthusiastic 2 year old euthanized.

The cute snoot

OSU diagnosed Liam with wobblers. They rated him a 4/5 on the neurological scale, which also made him ineligible for the ultra expensive basket surgery that attempts to correct wobblers. Surgery will generally downgrade horses by one grade, two grades if they're lucky. Surgery is therefore only done on horses who are grade 1 or 2, SOMETIMES 3. At 4, Liam was a non-surgical candidate. Grade 1 is sometimes rideable, grade 2 is sometimes pasture sound.

After a baseline neuro test that showed he struggled to control his hind end and triggered some struggle with his front, we moved on to neck radiographs.

From https://veteriankey.com/the-neck-and-back/

The radiographs painted a very bleak picture. Liam's neck was still growing since the growth plates are still open in the vertebrae (and at 2, they should be). The C1 to C3 looked good, with normal joint spaces and what appears to be plenty of room for the spinal column to pass through. The joint space between C4/C5 was a little cloudy and ill-defined, indicating some arthritis. The joint space between C5/C6 and C6/C7 were both very cloudy and barely defined, indicating severe arthritis.

Normal growth plate, MSD, SD, and the unlabeled green ovals are joint spaces.

The C4/C5 space is a little cloudy. C5/C6 is pretty cloudy, and the C6/C7 has a very occluded edges.
Not pictured, C7/T1. Rood and Riddle also suspected severe arthritis in that joint as it was just as occluded as C6/C7.

A secondary problem in the C7 vertebrae was a narrowing of the spinal column space (minimal sagittal diameter-MSD below) in relation to the sagittal diameter (SD below). The C7 should be the widest channel of all the cervical vertebrae. The ratio of MSD:SD should be 50% for C2-C6, and closer to 60% for C7. Not only does his C7 narrow, it was the lowest percentage of the 6 at 51%.

From https://dspace.library.uu.nl/bitstream/handle/1874/289531/Scriptie.pdf

The neck presented solid enough evidence, that when combined with his in hand neuro tests, the vets were confident that his spinal cord was being compressed somewhere in the neck, most likely near the base, but it cannot be determined from only x-rays. X-rays only paint a single cross section of the horse, meaning, while it appears the C7 spinal cord channel has gotten shorter in height, it could also be wider than the other vertebrae, which would not cause compression. Sadly, x-rays cannot be shot from above. I could opt to take him to Rood and Riddle, who would do a CT scan of majority of his neck. It would go up to the shoulders, which are simply too big to fit in the machine, so we may not even see the C7 in the scan. The other option was a myelogram.

Myelograms are highly invasive procedures where the horse is put under general anesthesia and a spinal tap is done at the cranium. Special dye is injected into the spinal column and the horse's neck is extended and flexed, and x-rays are taken as it progresses down the spinal column to see where the dye stops (which indicates compression). It is a relatively traumatic procedure for the spinal column and can result in seizures and a temporary increase in neurological issues after the horse wakes up.

Here is a great link to the myelogram procedure.

The day I officially signed papers and paid for him 

Reasons to do a myelogram: confirm exact locations of compression for surgery, confirm compression for insurance purposes, confirm for a personal need to know.

None of those reasons apply to Liam. He's not a surgical candidate even if we could find it. I didn't get insurance set up on him yet so they have no say (I'm sure that would be audited and questioned, oh geez... 2 months in and a major claim on a fairly clear PPE? FRAUD). Finally, I personally do not need to know more beyond 'in the neck somewhere'. My need to know does not out weigh the suffering he would go through waking up. The vets warned me he would probably be grade 5/5 coming out of a myelogram and would probably need a sling to stand up and stay standing.

Beefcake! His shoulders really grew at the end of May- his topline was much more level in June than in this pic from April.

The vets did put out another offer: they can do the myelogram and just not wake him up... euthanize him on the table so to speak.

I didn't think the cost of doing a myelogram justified my need to know. I spoke with event trainer, who whole heartedly agreed we don't need to know.

Liam wasn't sure he needed to know about this ball.

So instead, Liam spent several more days at OSU with several gallon size bags of horse cookies (no lie, I left 4 gallon bags of treats and 2lb of carrots), and a note that said "Please feed me LOTS of treats. I also enjoy neck scratches."  I had to go home and work several days, but then I went back Wednesday to spend time with him, and today followed the shipper back to event trainer's farm. The vets gave him a bunch of anti-inflammatories to help him be more stable for the trip home, and he arrived without a scratch. The vet met us there, and he was humanely euthanized this afternoon, happy in the sun and eating grass.

Handsome boy

Sometimes you can try "stunting" the growth of a young horse with mild wobblers and pristine neck rads, and try to get them to grow out of it. The advanced level of his neck arthritis made this option a non-option.

Sometimes high doses of vitamin e also alleviate the inflammation in the spinal column. Natural Vitamin E (d-alpha, not dl-alpha) crosses the blood/brain barrier quite easily making it an excellent anti-inflammatory for the spinal cord. Therapeutic doses for this are 10,000 IU a day. We were already doing that.

The vet said we could reasonably give him anti-inflammatories for the next 3 weeks and keep him on stall rest to see if he got better and by how much. This didn't have a good feel for me, he could hurt himself at any time. This option just prolonged the inevitable with possibility of disaster.

He took his napping VERY seriously. He would lay flat out for an hour at least once a day.
He scared his vet tech the day before he came home- he was down flat out in the stall and twitching all over. I told his vet upon his arrival that he does do this daily, and it's perfectly normal for him to be down for more than an hour.The tech called her thinking Liam was having a seizure. Better safe than sorry!

We don't know why he suddenly went downhill very fast. None of his genetic line have reported cases of wobblers in the foals. His dam was carefully matched to a stallion. He was carefully fed by a wonderful woman with 40+ years of growing baby horses experience. He was turned out as a baby and yearling. All of the right boxes were checked. He also checked off the big ticket at risk checklist: big, fast growing, male, baby warmblood. What made the arthritis happen? Who knows. OSU ruled out injury since the issue is in more than one joint space. He has been brewing this for a while, it didn't just happen in the last two months. I do not think anyone knew about it, I want that clear. I do not think I was misled or lied to. The prevailing thought is he was brewing the arthritis and he might have slipped in the field playing with his new friends and tweaked it in a chain reaction. He also grew again at the end of May, where his chest widened a little so he wasn't so base narrow and he got taller. All of the above? None of the above? Wobblers is poorly understood and unfortunately is put in the "shit happens" category.

I do not think his PPE failed either. We had no reason to suspect neck issues and it doesn't make sense to do a PPE that costs 40% of the cost of the horse.

So itchy! He was always up for a grooming session with lots of currying.
Link to YouTube

I am going to try to rejoice and treasure the time I got to spend with him. Working on his confidence in the world around him, standing and leading skills, and marveling at his think first personality that lead to an incredibly brave, curious, and sensible baby horse with an old soul. I'll remember the head hugs he gave me when I cried into his neck the weekend he spent at OSU waiting to come home. How he groomed my leg with his nose when I scratched just the right spot on his neck. How quickly he came to trust me when I would tell him "step" from the halt when he was scared, and he'd pick up a front leg and put it on a mat or different color pavement or whatever was frightening him at the time. He was the horse I wanted, for sure. I was thrilled to make him a long term partner to do all the things with. I even considered a return to low level eventing because he was so sensible and had a great sense of self-preservation. I am heartbroken that it ended like this.

I taught him to step confidently onto a mat to prep him to be confident stepping into a trailer.

I feel like I failed him, even though I know we did everything that was reasonable. Putting him down was so difficult when he was bright, alert, hungry, and interested in life. He was perfectly aware he couldn't do things and was happy to walk slowly and didn't get riled up about being left behind. His mind was still perfectly intact while his body failed. In reality, I know he was dangerous. He could have wiped out at any time, injuring himself, another horse, or a person. He could have spooked and fallen and broken his neck or suffered some other traumatic event requiring an emergency vet to rush out to euthanize him... and he'd have to wait for that vet in pain. All of that logic still doesn't make it any better to have to euthanize a 2 year old who is still mentally vibrant.

Oh curiosity! He finally got over his fear of water, decided this puddle was fun, decided to roll in it, and then changed his mind half way down and kneeled for a while.

I had finally picked a registered name for him and sent it in with his DNA sample: Legato. "In music performance and notation, legato indicates that musical notes are played or sung smoothly and connected." It was a hope for connection and flow in the future. Maybe I should have kept it as Lawless, since he broke all the foaling rules and all the growing rules it seems.

At this point, I am not very upset at the further loss of my dreams. Those have been dead for a while. I have not been hungry in a while. I'm more upset at the loss of a budding relationship that should have had years to bloom and grow. But I am most upset about the life Liam never got to live. At least in his brief time here, he only knew grass and love, and never unkindness.

Legato "Liam"
April 30, 2017 - June 27, 2019

Liam's Pre-OSU Story

Before I get into OSU's findings, I want to go through what took us there.

I called the emergency vet many Fridays (5/31) ago when a hind end lameness turned full blown neurological. I already had an appointment for a vet to come out for a lameness exam to see if he pulled something stomping at flies, but swaying and staggering changed things... it wasn't a pulled muscle anymore, he was sick.

The emergency vet came out and took his temp (101.2, a very slight fever), did a run over of all his joints and general condition. She had him walk away from her, and turn small circles. She didn't even try pulling on his tail or stacking his hind feet- he was so unstable on his own feet that she didn't think it was fair. She didn't feel anything in the joints, but the elevated temperature and neurological problems bothered her.

Forgive my lack of polo, as I was packing for the barn before work, I realized I was out of barn shirts!

She pulled a ton of blood for various diseases, and Liam got a hefty dose of DMSO tubed into his stomach, a shot of dex, a shot of banamine, and oral vitamin e.

By Saturday morning, Liam's temp was back under 100 and he was much more stable on his feet. He'd been on stall rest for 4 days at this point.

*Gets on soapbox*

HAVE YOUR VET VACCINATE YOUR HORSE. I know it's annoying and more expensive, but let me tell you, having my vet vaccinate Liam at his PPE was a great decision. We knew exactly what he'd been vaccinated for and what manufacturer and what batch, etc. This whole incident was/is stupid expensive, but the vaccine manufacturer paid for one of the very expensive tests (a blood and nasal swab).

*Gets off soapbox*

I hesitate to share all that was tested for, because I don't want to scare people or put rumors out there. But I also want to take care of some rumors I've heard: we tested him for EHV (blood and nasal swab), west nile virus, EPM (blood only, no spinal tap since that has to be done at the clinic), lyme, strangles/rhino/upper respiratory diseases (guttural pouch culture). EHV was the big name disease of course, and the vet had to notify the USDA of a possible case. The USDA took it very seriously, and they visited the farm the next business day to check our bio-security and isolation. They made suggestions on keeping Liam properly isolated to keep the other horses as unexposed as possible, but also safely isolated so he didn't hurt himself. They discussed quarantine procedures if Liam was positive.

The geldings on the farm were redistributed to new fields, and Liam was put in 24/7 isolation with a tribute friend (literally, the barn owner turned him out with Liam and told him, 'may the odds be ever in your favor') in a field that didn't share a fence line with any other field, and both horses were banned from the barn. The virus doesn't live well outside the horse out in the sun, so this was actually ideal. Liam's stall was stripped and the barn and his stall were bleached.

Liam shredded his fly sheet in less than 24 hours... and didn't like Jaxon's clothes either. He did keep his shoofly leggins on though!

Luckily, all of this effort was for nothing. Most of the tests came back negative, including the big one, EHV. Yay! We did twice a day temperature monitoring, and his temperature was in normal range every time. As he started feeling better, he started fighting barn owner on having his temp taken, and taking his meds (liquid vitamin e syringed and marquis).

The one positive was one parasite for EPM. I'm not exactly sure what the test was looking for, but I am fairly sure it was the ELISA test. His ratio was 1:1000, and the "exposed" range is 1:250-1:4000.

From the ELISA tests detailed on this website:

Although a wide range of serum titers was observed for necropsy positive EPM cases, there was a trend for higher serum titers (≥ 1:4000) to correlate better with EPM.

Without the spinal tap to compare to, we could only make a guess that EPM was causing his issues. We started treating for EPM the day after his emergency visit without the results yet, deciding that treating him won't hurt him, but waiting could. The vet decided we should keep treating him, even though his blood serum value isn't greater than 1:4000, because his value is elevated and he's experiencing neurological problems.

Liam seemed like he was responding to the marquis and vitamin e when the vet came back to do a guttural pouch culture (because of the bacteria findings on the PCR nasal swab) on 6/6. His throat looked fantastic and healthy, so we expected the culture to come back clean (which it did). He was super alert, mildly fighting the vet, and in general being dramatic.

He took a downhill turn on 6/11. He came in from the field with swollen hind legs and a fever again (101.3). A video from the morning showed him looking very subdued, slow, and more neurological than he had looked in a while. The vet was called to make sure the hind leg swelling was *just* cellulitis and not something more sinister. He had some rubs on his hind legs, so we agreed the cellulitis was not directly related to the original ailment, but related in that he probably interfered because he's neurological.

By the time she got there, he was more neurological than the morning, but his fever had gone. She pulled blood to do a CBC, which they test in house. He got a shot of exceed as well. He might be more neurological as the parasites die off and increase inflammation in his body, or it might be the inflammation returning because it's not actually EPM that's causing the issue. EPM doesn't cause fevers though, but cellulitis can, but he didn't have cellulitis the first time around. The vet asked us to monitor his temperature twice a day to see if there's any kind of pattern and to see what kind of variation there is. He proceeded to spike fevers of 101.3 to 101.8 in the morning after cool nights turned out and return to 99.6 to 100.8 by the evening. It was a bit baffling. It did clear up as the cellulitis cleared up.

A visiting clinician had her boyfriend (a vet) do a look over of Liam at the end of her first day teaching at the farm, who thought he had wobblers. A third opinion was requested, and I sent her all the videos and information I could. She thought he might have broken his pelvic floor along with EPM, and encouraged me to take him to OSU immediately and not wait the 3 weeks until she was going to be traveling to my area.

So there's some back story.

Power of Thought

I feel like a broken record here, but think some good thoughts for Liam, he's feeling under the weather.

The emergency vet was called Friday, she pulled a bunch of blood to send out Monday, and loaded him up with drugs to cover most of our bases while we wait.

He's feeling a lot better after all of his drugs Friday, but he's still on a big cocktail and not symptom free.

Feeling a good deal better Saturday morning. 

Good thoughts y'all, because most of the diseases in this first round of testing aren't good.

2nd Birthday

Almost missed it, but today is Liam's 2nd birthday!

HIIIII

Liam continues to be an excellent, no fuss baby horse. He leads much better now, he can stand still to be groomed in the aisle during mild to moderate barn activity, is super brave, and VERY curious. In a pinch, when bravery wanes but curiosity is still there, humans are good to hide behind. He has even learned to push one of the big exercise balls with his nose!

So shy about putting his head out. But these nose was busy touching and wiggling!

He doesn't feel the need to put everything in his mouth (he likes to nose things though). He's finally learned that humans sometimes have these awesome things called treats, and when they hold their hand out to you, they'd like to give you one. This has not caused any mouthiness so far.

He knows how to socialize with other horses. He tends to skip rolls in the mud and is like teflon when he is dirty.

Definitely an A+ purchase, his mind is incredible and thinking. He doesn't leave scary situations, he becomes cautious and curious. He is a sponge, soaking everything up. He feels more mature than 2 a lot of the time, but then does baby things like forgetting he has legs.

"Whoa, stuff looks different from here"

He is not what I expected. He is exceeding all expectations!

First Farrier Visit

One main item on my mind was having Liam's feet fixed. His prior farrier care was not great. The breeder's barn manager even said as much... I suspect whoever they use is willing to work on rude baby horses, so they keep using them, even though the manager knows the trims are bad.

When we decided Liam would come home on 4/5, he was due to be trimmed again sometime between 4/7 and 4/13. The barn manager didn't have him trimmed because she knew I'd have him done properly after he got home and so wanted to leave some foot to work with (which I agreed with her and was happy she didn't have him done).

Long, but the flare on the left front was especially bothersome.
He also needs more heel all-around.
I didn't think to take any before pics on the concrete!

One of my barn owners (the husband) is a part time farrier and extremely patient. I asked him to do Liam's feet for now because I expected the horse to be rude and jumpy and reactive. Nothing seems to fluster BO Farrier, and if it takes an hour to get the fronts done and we come back for the hinds, not a big deal. He's got all the education to shoe/trim and goes to continuing education seminars, but farrier work is not his full time job so it's not a permanent situation for me.

He agreed, on the condition I put in the time outside of trims to work on hoof handling. Well duh, I want a well behaved creature, so I was going to put the time in anyway! Plus he needs to have his feet picked out every time I have him out to be groomed or handled. BO Farrier showed me how to anchor the hoof against myself so I could use my leg to hold it in place and not my arms... and so Liam couldn't cow kick me, as we learned he will do when he's flustered.

Battle Bruises
Liam ripped his left hind out of my hand repeatedly until I got his leg anchored correctly.
I need practice.

BO watched me battle Liam over that left hind. He was literally ripping it out of my hand and hopping forward with his entire hind end, which threw me back. And since he's an awkward kiddo, his front left was way out to the side and every time I got thrown back I tripped on his front leg, almost going into epic pratfalls. She was like, "How on earth did they trim his feet?!"

By the way, did you know Liam was Teflon coated? And mud-averse? It's fantastic

BO Farrier and I agreed to try trimming his fronts Wednesday this week because they just couldn't go any longer (which would have allowed me more practice with his feet). If it took an hour to do them, so be it. BO Farrier did a test rasping on Monday to take down a little of the flare on the LF, and to see how Liam behaved. He... wasn't great. He spooked and gawked at the hoof stand and tried halfheartedly to leave, but in the end stood like a circus animal on a ball with 3 feet while the LF was on the stand. Whatever keeps you still dude.

I practiced leading with Liam before his appointment, just to "exercise" him a little, and then it was time! He wasn't keen on standing in the middle of the aisle (watching horses hug the walls and not stand in the middle makes my eyes bleed), so he hugged the wall for comfort and let BO Farrier do his fronts.

Everything went well on his fronts, so BO Farrier tried the hinds... which went well! The biggest issue was the left hind, but BO Farrier did a much better job holding onto it so Liam only tried pulling it away once. Sorry farrier. That shit hurts :(

New toes!

Liam has varying degrees of deep pitting/thrush in the white lines of each hoof from heel to mid-bell. He also had a false sole on the left hind, probably from an abscess sometime in this past godforsaken wet winter.

SO MUCH HOOF.
BO Farrier originally wasn't going to use the nippers on him and go this short the first time, but the deep pitting was worrisome, and it extends deeper than he trimmed off.
BO Farrier was able to bring his heels back by trimming this much off, which is great.

Liam was very good for a baby horse with limited handling, I was very pleased. Most of his "naughty" behavior was around him just not knowing how to balance on 3 legs. He seemed to think he could only balance on 2 (diagonal pair, not rearing) or 4, and standing square to evenly distribute his weight was a complete unknown to him. He'll learn! One more positive experience is in the books for him though!

Fancy Word Sequence (repose)

Of course, I came up with a name for this post a while ago and then instead of hitting close, I hit publish. Oops. So those of you that read via Feedly, you got a "404 No Content" problem.

Hey look! He's not derpy!

Liam is not registered... yet.

I know, I know. "You bought him unregistered?!" Yes, I did. I did my homework first though, I contacted Westfalen NA and asked exactly what they needed to register him. He's eligible- mom and dad are both approved. I need to do a DNA kit, get an insemination certificate, get a foaling certificate, and bill of sale. Then he needs to go to inspection this summer for permanent identification, even though he's a gelding.

Maybe he's secretly a baby cow.

But all of that means... I get to officially name him!

Event Trainer was going to call him Lawless because he broke all the foaling rules before he was born and probably shouldn't be alive.

The breeder that handled his foaling and young horse care tried to breed a full sibling- she ordered more Lordanos semen and the mare didn't catch, so she was unable to produce a full sibling. That made me go back to the suggestion of Limited Edition.

Horse vs ball standoff

I'm not really sold on either of those, so here are the rules:

• The name can be a word or series of words, but the first letter MUST be an L.
• No love themed names (Lover, Lover Boy, etc)
• Preferred: Not an overused name. Would love something that starts with Lord.

SO ITCHY

Suggestions so far:

    Lawless
    Limitless
    Limited Edition
    Lord of Letters
    Lord of Logic
    Limerick
    Lumiere
    Lucid Dreamer

Umm, you're two. Why are you so beefy?
Also, his hind end belongs to a different horse than his front end. I'm hoping since his thick legs seem to match his bum, the front end will grow soon.

"Funny but we're not using them" suggestions:
    Lunch Meat
    Lunch Box
    Lunchable
    Liverwurst
    Lord Beefcake

That white nose stands out!
He isn't food aggressive at home, but he was at the breeder's.

Lawless has quite a few horses in the USEF, Limitless has even more, and Limited Edition has A TON. Enough to make me not want to use it.

I'm keeping 'Liverwurst' for when he's bad, Event Trainer and I both think it's hysterical.

Where did my floaty horse go? He's probably tired from a long day making new friends and playing!

So blog land, give me some fancy word sequences that start with L!

Liam is Home!

Liam is home!!!

Unsure about his life.

It was rather... exciting? The trip rattled him A LOT and we had a mishap in the trailer during unloading. Everyone is fine, except the trailer... Note: Liam will double barrel kick when scared. Do not stand behind him.

He walked off the trailer like a gentleman, despite being visibly upset and soaked with sweat. There is no media, sorry people. Unloading him safely was first priority. He walked around the parking lot like a gem, and then very cautiously walked into the barn. He was surprised by the concrete floor and then the other horses (concrete floors are VERY distracting). He became instant best friends with one of the horses he shares a wall with, a Dutch Warmblood who is also chestnut and very chromey.

So sweaty.

Of course at this point, I am FREAKING OUT. "What have I done?!" went through my head multiple times- I just took possession of a 2 year old who is large and rude and will double barrel kick. I was panicking that I'm in over my head with a baby horse, and we haven't done anything yet! This was on top of the "new mom" emotions that go something like this: "OMG it's like a new baby, 'here you go, make sure it grows up healthy and well mannered!' and they hand you the horse and drive away!" #responsibilities

I took Madonna for a quick spin while Liam settled- which he did beautifully. After sniffing both neighbors, he settled in to eat hay long before I went out to ride. He did scream a small amount- he's got such a high pitched whinny! It's very baby like. It stopped when no one answered him, all of the other horses were too busy stuffing their faces with hay.

Alert!

After the indoor cleared out, I pulled Liam back out in a rope halter and 12' cowboy lead rope to go walk around- if he was going to try to get away from me, I'd have 12' before he managed it, plus closed arena doors. I also put on my helmet. I felt like a proper pony clubber! (even though I only did one year of pony club)

Everything is an adventure for him! Walking out of the stall onto concrete. Looking at the forge. Looking at the sink. Looking at the other horses. OMG look the concrete becomes dirt. OMG there's THINGS in the dirt. Mounting block. Poles. Cavaletti blocks. A pole WITH FLOWERS IN IT. Muck buckets. Chairs.

He was SUPER.

The first thing I did was try to get his focus on me, even though he'd only been on the farm for 2.3 seconds. I couldn't even walk him around because his shoulder kept coming over me and he was puffing up... and well, he's way too big for that. He'd clobber me if he decided to bolt. Something I learned from the Friesian I vetted is a spot on the chest to make them back up: where the neck comes into the chest, make a C with your hand a poke the horse right there, with the curve of the C going around the neck where it attaches into the chest. I've found a very light poke will cause a correct reaction in most horses.

So I'd stop walking, he'd keep going and walk into the rope halter, and I'd poke my hand into his chest right there. He'd stop immediately and swing his head back to look at me. I'd then make him back up by poking him until he had an eye solidly on me, and give him a big scratch on the neck and tell him he was so smart. I'd take the same C shape and poke him in the neck when he'd throw his neck at me. It took 5 min tops for me to easily get his attention for at least 5 seconds, and he'd respond immediately to my prompts to pay attention, even if I had to lather, rinse, repeat every five seconds. Eventually I didn't feel unsafe walking next to him.

Next we investigated THE THINGS. He's rather brave for a baby horse who had his world turned upside down. Maybe that has to do with a baby horse's curious nature?

Very scary.

The first thing we investigated was the pole raised on cavaletti with fake flowers in it. Liam snorted and thought about leaving, but I held my ground and walked towards it a second time and gave him tons of scratches and reassurance. He did some side stepping and hid behind me at one point (a boarder who does a lot of more advanced groundwork went in with me to help me keep my brain in my skull said that), but eventually dove into the flowers like a kid doing a cannonball into a pool. My brain quickly changed gears to "OH GOD, DON'T EAT THEM! I've only had you for a few hours, NO EMERGENCY VET VISIT!" But he's a good baby who doesn't feel the need to mouth everything in sight yet, so he smelled the shit out of every fake flower bunch on the pole before swinging his head back around to me and putting his nose on my chest for scratches.

The rest of our short indoor adventure went a lot like that. I'd decide where we would walk to, doing focus checks every 3 seconds, and giving lots of scratches and encouragement. He is SO BRAVE and so curious. He'd look to me for encouragement and then investigate everything with his nose before coming right back for more scratches and reassurance. He hid behind me many more times. We were only in there for 10ish minutes, because I started having trouble getting his focus back and he'd been very good.

OMG THAT FACE.
New media is required of it, stat.

By the time he got back to his stall, his eye was very soft and his posture more relaxed. He started doing the snuggly things I loved about him: making faces when I scratched all the itchy spots on his chest, neck and whithers (he got rocking and nearly pushed me over when I scratched his chest), and sniffing people faces and blowing air into said faces. There were 4 of us cuddling him and he seemed to think it was divine. There is zero mouthiness to the face sniffing, he just gets right up in there to properly snuffle you.

Our little indoor arena adventure and post adventure cuddling reminded me of why I liked him so much and I instantly felt better about him. He is a thinking horse and very personable. His world was turned upside down, and an hour or so after arriving he was able to focus on me and even learn a little. After working him a little in hand, he was already less pushy in the stall and better about his feet not invading personal space. I want to carefully encourage his bravery and curiosity. I want him to feel capable of ANYTHING so he'll stand his ground when he's afraid. Hopefully that will be enough to keep those hind feet on the ground!

Husband and I planned a trip this upcoming weekend for our 6th anniversary, which unfortunately means leaving Liam for a few days (we planned it long before Liam was in the picture). The barn is also hosting a biomechanics and groundwork clinic this Saturday with an exceptional trainer. I talked to BO about handling Liam in the workshop afternoon session (the morning is a lecture) to get his groundwork going. She's handled a bunch of babies and started several, so he will be in good hands that can give me a lesson when I come back!

Me, for the last week!

A New Adventure

I bought the 2 year old! (I actually didn't get to meet the OTTB, his owner sold him to a student before I could get there, which is totally fine. I'd assume a student buyer trumps a stranger buyer.)

Everyone, meet Liam!

Liam is an almost 2 year old Westfalen gelding by Lordanos and out of a Dutch Warmblood mare (he'll be 2 at the end of April). He was bred by Event Trainer, and that's the only reason I considered a horse this young. I know where he came from, all of his history and care, and he was carefully planned for and cared for.

He checks so many of the boxes for me: 3 solid gaits, snuggly like Penn, shares a birthday with Mikey, is chestnut, has all the chrome, and is the floaty warmblood I could never afford. Cue emotional crying, because that is what happened when I met him and he was like "HI, I LIKE SNUGGLES" and put his head on my shoulder for snuggles and scratches.

So much derp/awkward. He needs lessons on being photogenic, sorry bud. 🤷‍♀️ Probably comes with being a baby horse though.

The only things he didn't check were height and age. He sticked at 16.1h at his vetting, so I expect he's going to be 17.0-17.2 by the time he's done growing (and he needs to grow taller and wider, he looks like he's in a rather ugly growth spurt!). While that's much bigger than I prefer and was shopping for, he'll be an excellent size for me and hopefully I'll be super comfortable with it by the time he's ready to be backed and started. I'll have a year to get comfortable with him and learn about him, and maybe I won't notice him growing! He's younger than I wanted by a year, but he just ticked so many boxes for me that I figured I can do some delayed gratification. He's a possible long term partner- not something I ride to 3rd level and sell. That's worth waiting the year to ride him, and another year after that to really do something with him, I think.

A super wee belly spot!

I had to have a good long think when I considered him: what are my goals, how do I want to get there, and how long is an acceptable time frame to get there? Is some "delayed gratification" worth it?

• Goal: FEI Dressage, ideally Grand Prix. I don't need to be winning or even competing in CDIs, but I'd be thrilled getting a 60 at GP at a national show.
• How: Train a horse to Grand Prix because unless I win the Powerball, I'm not going to be able to buy a GP schoolmaster. I'd really love to not have to start over, AGAIN. Having started over from 3rd twice now, I'm getting tired of it!
• Time frame: I'm not even sure. It's going to be a process of decades probably, especially if I'm rotating out horses, selling one to buy the next more talented horse. It will take even longer since I can only go for monthly lesson weekends. I'm a diligent student, but that's no substitute for weekly lessons.

Say I was able to buy, and did buy, the OTTB. He could do training level this year, and maybe in 4 years he'd be a solid 3rd level horse who can do 4-1 and can be called a 3rd Level Schoolmaster for someone who wants to learn the mid levels. Maybe the OTTB would be able to keep going up the levels, maybe he wouldn't. I would expect him to top out by PSG (doing the things and still getting 60%) if he can keep going. If he's not going to go further, I would sell and buy a more talented horse (hopefully). I redo training to third for another 4 years at least.

In 4 years, Liam will have just turned 6. I expect he'll be competent at first level, and schooling 2nd/3rd level work. I don't expect him to be further along than that because he is a big growing horse and is going to need time. I also do not expect him to top out at 3rd/4th, but only time will tell if he can handle pressure and can do the tempi work of the FEI levels (if he can piaffe and passage in any way, I consider that a bonus). I consider him a better risk than the other horses available to me at my budget, despite me having to wait for him to grow up. He's a possible very long term partnership, which is what I really want.

I feel very... blessed? Loved? -by my barn family. They are the true enablers of this adventure. Event Trainer for offering Liam at a price I can afford. My barn owner is gung ho about bringing a baby horse in. Other boarders have offered their horses to ride in the meantime: Our vet, who owns Madonna, for allowing me to ride her regularly. M offered her older, yet sassy mare, who is big moving and 17h tall so I can get used to the size, and so I have something to pony Liam from. Another boarder who offered her floaty mare so I can get used to riding floaty gaits before it's time to sit on Liam. Then the bunch of other green horses that need rides here and there. Event Trainer will help me start him. They are all the reason I can attempt this new adventure. I feel very lucky.

Is he the nicest baby horse out there? Of course not. Is he the nicest thing I could afford? You bet. He has acceptable minor flaws, and everything we xrayed at his PPE looked great and strong. He's super awkward right now, being a growing baby horse who also appeared to have hives when I saw him last. He'll be a great progression photo series!

I have super limited media of Liam right now because he's at a farm where I have to ask permission to come out (it's a private breeder's farm), and then someone usually hangs out with me while I visit him. Top that with a young horse who doesn't know how to stand still, with or without a person, and I have a camera roll full of super awkward pictures with airplane ears. That situation will be remedied in the next 2 weeks, he comes home Tuesday (aka today!)!